SOME RAMBLINGS ON THE EVE OF THE SECOND TEST MATCH in LAHORE

Inzamam has blasted his bowlers for being overhyped superstars in an effort to sting them into action for the second Test beginning in Lahore in a couple of hours. Lets see if Mohammad Sami and especially Prima Donna number One Shoaib Akhtar respond in the way the captain hope. Shoaib is looking a little over bulky these days and his midriff and bum region have grown rather disproportionately to the rest of his body - in other words...he is getting fat and it shows. His spectacular delivery stride leap has all but vanished and his average pace has also dropped markedly. Yes he can still send down the occasional thunderbold, but the ability to sustain hostility and pace is definitely on the wane. Though he is not overtly that old but one ought to remember that most people in Pakistan are born at the age of -5 or so. Waqar Younis was supposedly 16 when he started his fast bowling heroics and Shahid Afridi merely 15 when he first played for Pakistan! Yeah right!

The selectors have understandably been unable to wave a magic wand and produce some new rabbits out of their hats. Imran Nazir a talented if rather brain dead batsman has been brought in on the strength of a string of decent performances during the domestic season as well as his reputation of being "fearless" though many would consider Nazir's brand of fearlessness to be more akin to suicidal insanity. However, Nazir gets yet another chance to ressurrect his career that has already seem more stops and starts than a milk delivery van on its morning run.

Danish Kaneria has also been understandably inducted - understandably because there are no other quality spinners to be found in the land now that Arshad Khan has been discarded and poor Saqlain Mushtaq appears to have totally lost it........in more ways than one! Saqlain's loss of form has been as alarming as it has been bewildering, perhaps the transformation in his personal life (that divine Beard that has recently sprouted) might have meant a wavering of attention to cricket in the overall reassessment of values. Whatever the reason may be, fact is Saqlain Mushtaq is now bowling atrociously and it does appear at this moment that his Test career may well be over.

Interestingly enough, speaking of sprouting beards and transformations and reassessment of values and going to pot cricketwise....I received a mysterious phone call at around 10.50pm on the night of the 30th of March. The voice said....."Main Saeed Anwer bol raha hoon....pehchana?" (This is Saeed Anwer speaking - dyou recognize me?). I said I did and he mentioned that he had had a chat with me at The Hot Spot a couple of years ago (The Pre-Beard days). Then he went on to mention that he dearly wanted to meet me and to share a cup of tea with me and that I should note down his cell phone number and MUST contact him in the next day or so. All this time I'm thinking.....................WHY is this man calling me??? Is it to show me that I am due to burn in hell and to salvage my soul? Saeed Anwer has become an avid recruiter for the Born Again types and clearly I was seen as one ripe for recruiting. Each to his own is what my policy is.........Saeed Anwer should do what pleases him, but he, nor anyone else has the right to stand in judgement. This business of avid recruitment is as loathsome as one of those incredibly persistent salesmen or one of those wretched flies that despite however much you shoo it away, keeps returning to sit on you and can never be swatted!

The fear is that there is going to be an empty stadium in Lahore this morning for the Test.......some of the blame (if that is the right word) can be attributed to the Indain Cricket Board who insisted an playing the One Day series before the Test Series. In this part of the world the public is obsessessed with One Day Cricket and shun the longer version of the game. There was so much interest in this series and so much hype that had the Tests been played earlier, even if Pakistan had not done well, crowds would have come. But now we have had the firework display before the closing ceremony as it were.........and the crowds are not interested any more. The Test series has come as a huge anti climax after the blitz of the One Day Internationals and suddenly interest levels are 5% of what they were a mere few weeks ago and the PCB desperately trying to entice ticket buyers with slashed rates.

Rumour has it that Pakistan's number one Prima Donna had a huge tantrum and terrified of failure and tarnishing his "image" wanted to cry off and not play in the 2nd Test. It seems now that he has been somehow persuaded to carry on..........but if success doesn't come early, expect him to go limping off the ground with yet another mysterious ailment. Time to show these Prima Donna's the door once and for all...........these and those with the slightest hint of match fixing connections. We need fresh blood and a fresh attitude, doesnt matter if losing a few series along the way is what it might cost.

Meanwhile the woeful Windies collapse to yet another humiliating thrashing...........interesting to watch Sir Viv Richards who was part of many a "Blackwash" against his English opponents now about to taste some of his own medicine, and that too with the horribly tuneless Barmy Army goading and taunting his team right under his nose in his own backyard! How the mighty have fallen...and continue to. If Pakistan cricket thought it was beset by problems.....just spare a thought for the once invincible West Indies - a team who put together one of the most astounding sporting success stories of the 80's that is now languishing as the laughing stock of the cricket community.